Book Review: The Secret Of Me And You by Melissa Lenhardt

The Secret of You and Me is the story of Nora Noakes and Sophie Russell. Nora, ex army, returns home to Texas from DC after her father dies. Coming home for his funeral is the first time she has returned to her home town since getting kicked out as a teenager. She has to navigate the many weird, uncomfortable and awkward relationships that she had left behind, and she wants to leave town as soon as possible. However, circumstances outside of her control trap her there. Sophie, her ex best friend, never left the town, and is now married to Charlie, Nora’s ex boyfriend, and has a teenage daughter. It’s impossible for them to avoid seeing each other again. Nora returning home rekindles old friendships and flames, but might they be better off left alone?

The book switches between Nora’s point of view and Sophie’s point of view. I liked the balance of getting both sides of the story. The tension between Nora and Sophie, with all of their shared history, is just so painfully good. And the Nora – Sophie – Charlie triangle is so complicated, full of secrets and lies. Throughout the whole book I was on the edge of my seat trying to figure out the truth. The tangled web of broken down relationships simply oozes regret and nostalgia. This book is about grudges, grief, reconciliation, love and loss, and is packed full of messy, complex emotions.

I found this book really easy to read. I was hooked by the secrets, and trying to figure out the truth. I loved the characters. The main characters are brilliant, complicated, flawed people, and there is also a whole cast of interesting side characters. Everything feels real. Real people with real lives. There’s plenty of brilliant, catty, snarky dialogue, but also some really emotional, heartwrenching moments as well. The book deals well with mental illness. It touches on both PTSD and alcoholism, and I felt like both were portrayed well. Nora’s stint in the army wasn’t glorified, either. Prejudice and religion feature heavily as well. Nora and Sophie’s story is very much defined by the oppressive place they grew up in, and the homophobia that they both experienced and internalised. This story is about overcoming the past, and moving on, or moving forward. Is it even possible to right old wrongs?

The Secret of Me and You is an intense book, and it really made me feel a whole raft of emotions. I loved it. It made me think a little bit of Dark Places and Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn, and Big Little Lies by Lianne Moriarty, although the drama is much more subtle. I highly recommend this book if you like slow burn romance, complex and messy relationships, and plenty of secrets and lies.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

Buy here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secret-You-Me-perfect-Gentleman-ebook/dp/B07YR83PMZ/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1596023177&sr=8-1

Book Review: The Traveling Triple-C Incorporeal Circus by Alanna McFall

The Traveling Triple-C Incorporeal Circus is a ghost story, a road trip adventure, and a powerfully emotional story about friendship, family, love and loss. The book follows the story of Chelsea, Carmen and Cyndricka, two ghosts and a living mime, as they travel across America by foot, and has a wide cast of unique and interesting characters, both living and dead, that they meet along their journey.

I felt like the book had quite a slow start. I liked the characters, and I understood their motivations, but the plot moved slowly and it felt like not much was happening. But it was enjoyable to read, and I liked the interactions between the characters, so I stuck with it, and I am so glad I did. The pace picks up about halfway through as the characters get into troubles along the road and also open up to each other more, and I became unable to put the book down.

The characters are diverse, with characters of different ethnicities and sexual orientations. The three main characters are Asian, Latina and African American, and one of the characters uses ASL to communicate, which is so rare to see in fiction. The little interactions between the characters, the stories they tell to each other, the hardships they deal with on the road are all very moving, some moments funny and some sad.

No spoilers, but I thought the ending was perfect. Also, I cried.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

Buy here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Traveling-Triple-C-Incorporeal-Circus-ebook/dp/B07PJM7DCV/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=The+Traveling+Triple-C+Incorporeal+Circus&qid=1595587860&sr=8-1

Silver Ravens by Jane Fletcher

Silver Ravens is a fun mix of fantasy and slow burn wlw romance. It features games developer Lori Cooper, who reads a magazine in a dentist’s waiting room, solves the puzzle page and gets sucked into a strange world with ciphers to solve before she’s allowed to go home. She meets Tamsin, who leads a band of warriors for the fay queen, and who she thinks is insane, dangerous, and very, very attractive. Lori’s goal is to solve the puzzles and go home, but things are never that simple.

I really enjoyed this book. I liked the contrast between the modern world, where Lori starts off, and the fantasy world of the fay, where most of the story takes place. The fairy city of Annwyn, and the rest of the magical world, is mysterious, creepy, beautiful and, at times, scary. I loved the weirdness of it; the mix of ancient armour and modern weapons, for example. It really makes sense in a place that’s outside time.

The plot is great. The romance is super slow burn, but it’s also unambiguously wlw from the start which is good. And to be fair on the characters, there really is too much going on for a romance to develop quickly! The beginning of the book immediately sucked me in with a mystery, and I was gripped from then onwards. Things are dramatic and exciting, and a little bit culty at times. I loved the instructions hidden in puzzles, and the codebreaking of the ciphers. There’s nothing super technical though, so it doesn’t get boring.

And the characters are great too. I liked how Lori’s experience as a game developer comes up in the plot, and helps her deal with being thrown into a fantasy setting. I liked all of the side characters, although there were quite a lot to keep track of. The villains of the story are great, and at times disturbingly evil and manipulative.

Overall this is a fun, fantasy, slow burn romance novel which I found enjoyable to read.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

Buy here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Silver-Ravens-Jane-Fletcher/dp/1635556317/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=silver+ravens&qid=1594641098&sr=8-3

Storm Lines by Jessica L. Webb

Storm Lines is a crime/thriller/lesbian romance novel. I loved this book. It’s exactly my kind of romance story, where there’s enough of a thriller-y/crime/mystery plot to keep me interested with a romance as an added bonus. I really enjoyed this book.

The book is about constable Bridget ‘Marley’ Marlowe, who does the wrong thing for the right reason and protects a young girl who is caught up in a drug ring. She gets injured, and meets Dr Devon Wolfe, a burned out psychologist on leave who helps her out and gets caught up in the trouble as well.

Storm Lines starts exciting. I was instantly hooked and intrigued just from reading the prologue. And the rest of the novel does not disapoint. We are launched straight into the action, the characters meet immediately, and it’s a rollercoaster of emotions from then onward. The book is written in third person but alternates between Devon and Marley’s perspectives, which I really liked. It’s easy reading, with everything flowing well. The story never drags or gets boring. The romance part of the plot is kind of slow burn (although that’s mainly because there’s too much going on for the characters to slow down and think about their feelings). It has a strangers to friends to lovers feel to it, which I love. And the mystery plot is great too. There’s a new drug on the street that causes weird symptoms, a child who was involved who now doesn’t speak, and plenty of dangerous situations for Marley and Devon to get caught up in.

All of the characters are distinct and interesting, each with their own quirks. The dialogue is snappy, readable and believable. The chemistry between Devon and Marley is great. The two of them are adorable together right from the start. There are plenty of cute and emotionaly moments mixed in with the drama and excitement of the police case. I particularly liked the way Devon’s mental health was explored, and the way that her anxiety and agoraphobia was described. I was also really invested in Carla and Aimee’s story as well as the romance. Aimee is a brilliant character.

And then the ending was brilliant. No spoilers here, but I felt really satisfied with the ending, which I think makes for a good book.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

Buy here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Storm-Lines-Jessica-L-Webb-ebook/dp/B08BKXN5V5/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=storm+lines&qid=1594480694&quartzVehicle=831-563&replacementKeywords=lines&sr=8-1

Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust

Girl, Serpent, Thorn is a YA fantasy novel, and it’s one of my favourite reads so far this year. I absolutely adored this book.

The main character, Soraya, is a princess, locked away in a palace because she has been cursed by a div to have a poisonous touch. The poison runs through her veins and everything that she touches dies. She has her garden and her flowers, but no friends or real human connections. Even her own mother can’t touch her. When a captured div is brought to the palace, Soraya decides to talk to her, to see if she can tell her how to break her curse. The book has good pacing, and it didn’t feel rushed or boring.

This book falls into the category of fairy tale retelling, drawing on Persian myths and fairy stories. The book itself begins with a fairy tale, and then stories and myths reoccur throughout the book. I found this particularly effective for this kind of story, where myths become reality within the pages of the book. And the mythology that Bashardoust draws from is so rich and wonderful. The world described in this book is beautiful, mystical and magical. Persian mythology is not something I’ve ever really learnt about but this book has sparked my interest in it.

I also loved the characters. Soraya has a journey from being shy and downtrodden, rejected by everyone around her, to realising her power, her anger and her strength. She is resourceful and determined, despite her circumstances, or perhaps because of them. And then there is Azad, a mysterious young soldier. After meeting him, Soraya is sucked into danger, discovering secrets and lies, betrayals and mistakes. When Azad was first introduced I assumed that he was going to be the love interest, in typical YA fashion, but damn, that twist! I won’t give any spoilers, but this story was like a rollercoaster and I loved it! Speaking of love interests, Soraya is bi, and there are lots of lovely sapphic moments which I really enjoyed, involving my favourite character in the book (although I won’t say more than that to avoid spoilers).

Girl, Serpent, Thorn is a wonderful queer fantasy novel that you should definitely read.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

Buy here: https://amazon.co.uk/Girl-Serpent-Thorn-Melissa-Bashardoust-ebook/dp/B082NPDJMB/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1593706081&sr=8-1

The Book of Queer Prophets: 21 Writers on Sexuality and Religion edited by Helen Hunt

This book contains twenty one essays about the intersection between sexuality and religion. Each essay is written by a different person, mostly members of the queer community aside from one ally at the end. This book contains both a christian lesbian and a muslim drag queen. Theologians, priests and conversion therapy survivors. Trans and nonbinary people. Artists, activists and writers. Diverse races and nationalities. The different essays cover many different experiences and each gives a unique viewpoint on being both religious and queer. The essays do seem to be predominantly christian, although several different denominations are included.

Can you be both queer and religious? This is a question that many queer people (including myself) have struggled with. So much homophobia and transphobia seems to come from religious communities, and so many queer people have been hurt by religion. But these essays show that for many queer people, it is possible to be both queer and religious, and to be so without supressing part of your identity. This book doesn’t deny the hurt and pain that religion causes to many queer people. In fact, it shows that there is hope, and that there are ways to be both queer and religious without needing to ‘reconcile’ with your identity, or pick and choose which parts of yourself you can express.

This book is beautifully written and at times it’s almost poetic. Every story is moving and emotional. Many of the essays talk about family rejection, abuse, exorcisms and conversion therapy, the belief that you are going to hell, and having to choose between religion and identity. Some of the writers explore religion on their own, discovering their own truth. Others have experiences of God, either within or outside of organised religion. There is plenty of discussion of religious texts and how religious groups cherry pick or twist texts to suit their bigotry. The writers of colour talk about reclaiming God as something for them, rather than the weternised, colonial idea of God as a cis straight white man. There are also stories from queer people who have lost their faith entirely, and how conflicting and confusing that can be, and even a story about coming to faith from a non religious background. Whilst there are common themes across all of the essays, each one is a unique voice letting the reader into their heart and mind.

I really enjoyed reading this book. It wasn’t always an easy read, due to a lot of the issues feeling very personal to me, but a message of hope truly does wind its way through the pages. I think this is the kind of book lots of people could benefit from reading. Queer people struggling with religion, religious people who don’t understand why this is an issue for queer people, and even athiests who don’t understand why it’s all such a big debate.

I’ll leave you with this quote, which I felt really sums up a lot of the experiences, regardless of religion, and really resonated with me: ‘It’s not Allah who forbade my queer identity, but the people who ignored the well of alternative potentials in the Quran’.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

Buy here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Queer-Prophets-Ruth-Hunt/dp/0008360065/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1592918531&sr=8-1

Spectrums: Autistic Transgender People in Their Own Words by Maxfield Sparrow

Spectrums is an anthology of personal writings from people who are both trans and autistic. The contributers cover a wide range of gender identities, races, locations and life experiences. These pieces of writing are human stories at the intersection of two identities, and they are wonderful to read. Some of the pieces are short, others are longer, and many of them do cover heavy topics such as suicide.

At the beginning of the book there is a short discussion on the benefits of research about trans and autistic people. The numbers show that trans people are more likely to be autistic and vice versa, and I found it interesting to read about why the data is a bit confusing. One example is that different researchers count different groups of people as transgender. This book takes a wide view of the word trans, not limiting itself to strict definitions of medical transition and binary genders, which is really great to see. Some of the pieces talk about the unique ways a lot of autistic people interact with and understand gender, so if you’ve ever been curious about words like neurogender, this book has some insight. It is made clear in the introduction that any research into these intersecting ideas must prioritise the voices of trans autistic people. Research should be of benefit to the people it is about, and a lot of research in the past related to these two groups has been detrimental.

All of these pieces are in the contributors’ own word, and the pieces take several different forms. Some are accounts of their life and journey, some are poems, and some integrate special interests. One of them, ‘An Exploration of the Intersection of Autistic and Transgender Coding in Star Trek’ even has a more academic feel to it. This brings variation to the anthology. There is something new to discover in each chapter.

There are lots of differences between the life experiences of the contributors. Different schooling, from home school to mainstream school to SEN school. Different journeys to transition, whether socially or medically. Different journeys to an autism diagnosis, sometimes self, sometimes medical, sometimes as a child, sometimes as an adult. But weaving the different pieces together are many similarities. The positives of being autistic, and celebrating being neurodivergent. Interacting with the world in unique ways, both to do with autism and gender identity. Taking ownership over your own body, claiming autonomy, which is something often denied to both trans and autistic people. The pain of living in a world not built for your neurotype or your transness. The joy of finding your people and understanding yourself. Comparing the experiences of masking as an autistic and passing when trans comes up multiple times, along side discussions of the exhaustion and stress of having to change the way you are for society’s benefit.

Of all of the pieces, two stuck out to me in particular. The slam poem ‘Ableism in Poetry’ was really powerful. ‘The Rightness of Being Wrong’ described a trans narrative that of not being born in the wrong body, but of becoming wrong for the body you were born in, which really struck me as describing my own experience with gender.

This book contains advice, explanations, encouragement, explorations, expression and validation. It holds hope for the future of autistic trans people. Hope of growing up and finding happiness and our place in the world. I see myself reflected in these stories. Maybe you’ll see yourself too. Or maybe it’ll give you a window of insight into people who are doubly misunderstood.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

Gender Explorers by Juno Roche

In Gender Explorers, Juno Roche interviews trans and gender nonconforming children and teens, as well as some of their parents and carers. The interviews take place at trans youth groups run by Mermaids and Gendered Intelligence, and cover a range of different ages and gender identities. The interviews are left in interview form, rather than being rewritten into prose, with all identifying information removed.

I really liked this book. Roche talks to the kids on their level, and lets them talk about their identities and journeys in their own words. The thing that stuck out the most for me was that these children just want to be happy. They talk about making their own rules, rather than following societies gender norms, and when asked what being trans feels like, what it’s like going to school as their gender rather than what was assigned to them, they say that it feels normal, that it feels right. This book really highlights that having the freedom to explore your gender, whether that means breaking gender norms, socially transitioning, or even, in the case of older children and teenagers, beginning a physical transition, lets people live truthfully and free, and helps them to avoid the secrecy and depression that often comes with coming out as trans later in life. Hearing from supportive parents and caregivers about how they looked after their children really brought tears to my eyes. We also get to read the author’s personal story, which is utterly heartbreaking. Children deserve so much better than having their gender identity and expression forced out of themselves, leaving them to live a life of shame and sadness.

This book comes from an incredibly important perspective; the trans and gender nonconforming children themselves, and the people closest to them. Again and again, parents talked about how their children had become visibly happier and more confident when allowed to live truthfully, doing better both at home and in school. The most important message this book gives is that we need to listen to trans and gender nonconforming children when they speak to us. We need to trust that they know themselves better than anyone else, and we need to believe them when they tell us their truth. And we need to be ok with experimentation. If a child is free to be whoever they are, and has the freedom to explore their identity, they will make the right decisions for themselves. This book also gives a perspective that the media often ignores in favour of sensationalism. There are real children behind all of the politics and policies and fighting. There are real children who are being hurt, because our media would rather a sensationalist headline.

I encourage you to read this book, whoever you are. Reading these children’s stories might help parents and teachers to put aside their prejudices and show love first, and support the trans kids in their lives.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

The Spectrum of Sex: The Science of Male, Female, and Intersex by Hida Viloria and Maria Nieto

I recently read the book XOXY, A Memoir: Intersex Woman, Mother, Activist (for my review of that book see here) and wanted to learn more about being intersex. This book is a nonfiction book which aims to educate on exactly that topic. It gives an interesting overview of the subject, although it was a quicker read than I expected it to be. It’s not too dense and academic, with a good mix of hard science, historical context and personal stories. There was even some information on intersex in Greek mythology, and Judaism, which I found particularly interesting.

The biology is explained in detail, and not dumbed down, but I still found that I understood most of it, despite not being a scientist. Some of it gets quite complicated, but because the science is broken up by the history and personal stories, I found that the book managed to keep my interest the entire way through. I found it helpful that a prior knowledge of much biology wasn’t assumed, for example DNA was described in detail before the subject of intersex DNA was covered. The book features some diagrams which are simple and helpful, but I would have appreciated more diagrams to really help with some of the more complex science. The book goes into detail about gonadal intersex, androgen insensitivity syndrome, Swyer syndrome, Turner syndrome, Kinefelter syndrome, congenital adrenal hyperplasia and 5-ARD, and really does get across the point that intersex people vary massively.

The most important thing about this book is that it is written by an intersex person, and is celebratory and positive about being intersex. The book explains in detail why unnecessary surgeries on intersex babies and children are wrong, and celebrates natural intersex bodies. This is important because intersex voices have been ignored and spoken over for so long. The personal pieces in this book were very insightful, in particular the one written from the perspective of a Navajo intersex person. If you only read one chapter from this book, make it that one. The commentary about the intersection between colonialism and racism and the intersex experience is very powerful, and particularly important for white and non intersex LGBTQ+ people to read. Intersex people should be leading these discussions, and in this book they are.

There was one thing that bothered me about this book, though, and that was the discussions about trans people. The start of the book felt very positive about trans people. Whilst the trans and intersex experiences are not the same, and intersex people face unique issues and prejudices due to being intersex, there are definitely overlaps between the two. However, later on in the book there is a personal piece written by the wife of a trans woman, where the pronoun ‘s/he’ is used to refer to her during transition, only using ‘she’ once transition is ‘complete’. This made me feel very uncomfortable, and isn’t the way that trans people usually choose to talk about themselves. I don’t know whether the trans woman in question was in favour of being referred to using s/he, but it didn’t feel right.

And then we get to the last chapter in the book. This was a discussion about the word ‘cisgender’. Whilst there were some good points about the issues intersex people have with the word cis (are they cis if they are intersex but identify with their assigned sex? how can they be trans if they have a nonbinary body and a nonbinary identity? can someone be nonbinary and cis? intersex and cis?) but the perspective of the discussion seemed to come from a place of distrust towards trans people. The idea that talking about the difference between being trans and being gender nonconforming and using the word cis erases a gender non conforming persons identity is an argument used by TERFs to silence trans women. That trans people must say ‘I am a man but I am female’ or ‘I am a woman but I am male’ and can’t transition their sex puts trans people, especially trans women, at risk of violence. It reiterates the belief that people need to know a trans person’s assigned sex or else they are being dishonest. We need for all sexes and genders to be seen as valid, but this rhetoric hurts vulnerable people. I feel that there is a solution somewhere to the linguistic problems around the language used to describe trans and intersex people, but this chapter doesn’t give any suggestions, just says that trans people are describing themselves wrong. This really bothered me. It felt like the attack was on the wrong people, on trans people for supposedly upholding a binary, when that binary is forced upon us by cis people, similarly to the way a binary is enforced on intersex people by people who aren’t intersex.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.

XOXY, A Memoir: Intersex Woman, Mother, Activist by Kimberly Zieselman

XOXY is a memoir about being an intersex woman. Memoirs are always personal, but this one feels extremely so. Kimberly Zieselman speaks candidly about her life as an intersex woman, her experiences with doctors, her family, and her work as an intersex activist. The book is well written and engaging, and the story it tells is heartbreaking and moving.

Intersex is something I was aware of, having been involved in LGBTQ+ activism in the past, but being aware of something and truly understanding it are two very different things. Intersex is often ignored, both by the general public and the LGBTQ+ community, and when it isn’t ignored it is often just paid lip service, ostensibly included but without any actual help or support. I didn’t know as much about intersex before I read this book as I would have liked to, or as much as I should have known. Luckily, this book is very comprehensive in the information it provides, and is a great starting point for people who want to learn more.

The book is non linear, switching between childhood and adulthood, before Zieselman’s diagnosis and afterwards. I found that this kept the story engaging, and helped to bring context to some of the earlier events in her life as she tries to make sense of her childhood with hindsight. This book does go into detail about medical trauma, and doctors dehumanising her and treating her like a specimen, not a person. As someone who is chronically ill and has had my own bad experiences with doctors, I did find these parts of the book hard to read, but also important, because intersex people are treated in a uniquely terrible way by the medical community. Whilst Zieselman’s story is just one intersex narrative, the medical trauma she suffered and the PTSD she then developed are not uncommon within the intersex community.

Zieselman talks a lot about coming to terms with being intersex, and with her identity as a woman. Identity is complex for everyone, but for intersex people there are unique complexities involved in both a person’s internal identity, and how they are seen by society. I believe that this book has the potential to help other people, especially other intersex people, to feel less alone, less different. Zieselman talks in depth about the benefits of having a community of people just like you, who have been through similar experiences, and how finding her own community was the first step in understanding herself.

The second half of the book is all about Zieselman’s journey to becoming an intersex activist. There is a pretty comprehensive history of intersex activism and the progress the community has made, woven into the story so it still reads easily, and doesn’t feel like suddenly reading a text book. If you’ve ever wondered why the I should be included in the LGBTQ+ movement, then you need to read this book, as Zieselman really shows why, despite the differences between the two communities, we need to work together.

This is not just a story about being intersex. This memoir discusses trauma, mental health, identity, family, adoption, SEN parenting, advocacy and activism, and the importance of accepting yourself and loving yourself for who you are. It has a hopeful message of hope for the future for intersex kids, and a life without shame, stigma and medical trauma. There is still a long way to go but thanks to activists like Kimberly Zieselman, progress will be made. Please, read this book.

I received this book from Netgalley for free in return for an honest review.